Okay, maybe the bugs aren't quite as large as the photo might suggest, but my "How To Add Hyperbolic Photos To Your Internet Posts" handbook said that these would work.

I wish I had saved the video from the time my wife set up a video camera to record herself in a battle to the death with a centipede on our basement wall. I was out of town, and she wanted video proof to back up her claims of a legendary throw-down with the bloodthirsty creature. A woman with a skillet will have to suffice for illustration.

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Or another woman dual-wielding insecticide cans:

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It's Fall, And All Sorts Of Creepy-Crawlies Are Looking For A Warm Place To Spend The Winter

As cold as it gets here in the Rockford area, no self-respecting bug wants to get caught outside between now and March. So, they're looking to go rent-free for a few months at your place. Some of them will go completely unnoticed in your home, while others have a tendency to make themselves known.

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Here Are The Five Or So Bugs Who Want In Your Northern Illinois Home

Brown Marmorated Stink Bugs. They're harmless, but you'll be sorry if you squish them.

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Stink bug of the Genus Antiteuchus protecting eggs with selective focus
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Asian Lady Beetles. They're great when they're outside being beneficial to us by eating aphids and other pests. Inside, in groups, they can let off a very bad odor, and stain things when you smash them.

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Photo taken in Utrecht, Netherlands
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Western Conifer Seed Bugs. These guys are pretty much exactly like a stinkbug, except they can bite. Luckily, they're really slow-moving and are no match for your vacuum.

Closeup of a Western Conifer Seed bug on a wall
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Boxelder (or, Box Elder) Bugs. They're pretty cool for a bug. They don't bite, they don't chew on your stuff. They're in your house for the warmth and shelter. They will stain walls if you smash them, so go with the vacuum.

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Box Elder bugs in a cluster on the side of an old house.
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Millipedes, Centipedes, and Sowbugs. They're great when they're outside doing what they're supposed to do (consuming decaying organic matter), but inside is a different story. They're harmless, but they do seem to provoke a primal reaction in many people.

Millipede, Getty Images
Millipede, Getty Images
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closeup of common house centipede
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Woodlice gathering on a tree in New England.
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LOOK: Here are the 25 best places to live in Illinois

Stacker compiled a list of the best places to live in Illinois using data from Niche. Niche ranks places to live based on a variety of factors including cost of living, schools, health care, recreation, and weather. Cities, suburbs, and towns were included. Listings and images are from realtor.com.

On the list, there's a robust mix of offerings from great schools and nightlife to high walkability and public parks. Some areas have enjoyed rapid growth thanks to new businesses moving to the area, while others offer glimpses into area history with well-preserved architecture and museums. Keep reading to see if your hometown made the list.

LOOK: 30 fascinating facts about sleep in the animal kingdom

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