With all the ridiculous laws in Illinois, how have none been passed related to the 5-second rule? I can not believe for, two seconds, someone is reading this wondering, "What the hell is this jabroni talking about?" But, if that's the case, allow me to explain quickly.

You're enjoying your snack or dinner and gravity grabs ahold of your food like a baby grabbing a sucker, the next thing you know it hits the floor. What do you do now? If the answer is to get it into your stomach you've got five seconds to grab it off of the floor.

The mental battle is the decision as to whether or not said piece of food is still edible. This can be one of the toughest decisions of your day.

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With the five-second rule, there are criteria that determine if the rule can be broken or if it is even applicable at all. The two biggest factors relate to what tyoe of food has fallen victim to the law of gravity and what surface is waiting below.

In my opinion, any food with even the slightest amount of moisture is out of the question, this is especially the case if the impending doom involves synthetic fiber, ie. carpet.

Obviously, the aforementioned example isn't the only circumstance that voids this unwritten food rule. Here are a few more examples provided by readers like you.

5 Times The 5-Second Rule Does Not Apply

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If you (or a child) drop any food in a public play-area ball pit, move along, You do not want any part of that.

READ MORE: STOP! Don’t Dare Leave These 8 Things In A Hot Car In Illinois

Another 5-second rule kibosh-er would be sand, There is nothing, and I mean no sort of food, especially meat, that would be fine with landing on the sand before getting tossed between your soup coolers.

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This next environment should be completely obvious but still needs to be pointed out. If drop food onto a bathroom floor, pick it up and toss it or flush it away, even if it's a dry piece of cereal.

Also, why are you bringing food into the bathroom?

Food in the bathroom?!

You might scoff and think "Nobody does that" but I know a guy who takes his coffee into his office's restroom every morning. If I'm lying I'm dying.

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Another "don't even think about it" 5-second rule abolisher that is not on this list, but deserves mention, has to do with your pets. If a dog spits out human food please do not eat it.

I don't care if it's a piece of freshly cooked bacon. That's just nasty.

Old MacDonald had a farm...

If food drops onto any natural outdoor surface it is finished, dare I even mention if the ground is part of a barnyard?  You can't count fast enough as an attempt to beat the clock.

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Finally, and this shouldn't even remotely be considered for any possible reason whatsoever, do not eat food that has crashed into a porta john floor.

I don't care if you've just assembled a brand-new plastic poop holder that has not even left the factory. Do. Not. Do. It.

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LOOK: Here Are 30 Foods That Are Poisonous to Dogs

To prepare yourself for a potential incident, always keep your vet's phone number handy, along with an after-hours clinic you can call in an emergency. The ASPCA Animal Poison Control Center also has a hotline you can call at (888) 426-4435 for advice.

Even with all of these resources, however, the best cure for food poisoning is preventing it in the first place. To give you an idea of what human foods can be dangerous, Stacker has put together a slideshow of 30 common foods to avoid. Take a look to see if there are any that surprise you.

LOOK: 20 American foods that raise eyebrows outside of the US

Stacker compiled a list of 20 unusual and uniquely American foods that might raise eyebrows outside the U.S.

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