Illinois has recently banned a list of books from its prisons, and some of the titles on this list are downright hilarious. It's like the prison system just discovered the Internet and decided to go on a banning spree. But if you're a prisoner in Illinois, don't worry; plenty of books are left to read that won't teach you how to disappear or grow weed in your cell.

Let's take a look at some of the banned books, starting with "365 Sex Positions." It's probably for the best that this one got denied. After all, the prison system doesn't need more inmates getting creative with their cellmates.


Next up, we have "501 Unarmed Self-Defense Skills." If you're in prison, chances are you already know how to defend yourself. But hey, you can never be too prepared, right?

Cooking Up Drugs?

Moving on to "Armchair Chemistry," which seems harmless enough, but maybe the prison system is worried that inmates will start cooking up their own drugs.

And let's not leave out "Pimps: The Raw Truth" and "How to Hustle and Win: Sex, Money, and Murder." Because what's the point of being in prison if you can't learn how to make a quick buck on the streets?

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Then there's "Basic Fundamentals of Modern Tattoo." This one might actually be useful for some inmates looking to become tattoo artists after they're released. But for now, they'll have to settle for drawing on themselves with a ballpoint pen.


"The Cannabis Grow Bible 3rd Edition" and "Cannabis Regeneration: A Multiple Harvest Method" are both banned, which is a shame for any inmates looking to start a prison farm. Maybe they can try growing vegetables instead? Also, "Plants That Can Kill" is on the list. So, if you're planning on starting a prison garden, be careful what you plant.

"Complete Idiots: Private Investigating" is another banned book. Perhaps the prison system doesn't want inmates to learn how to become better criminals.

And finally, there's "Wife in Short Shorts." This one is just plain funny. Maybe the prison system is worried that seeing pictures of hentai women in short shorts will cause too much of a distraction for the inmates.

Read With Caution

All in all, it's a strange list of books and there are many, many more that are banned. But fear not, inmates of Illinois prisons. There are still plenty of books left to read, like "War and Peace" or "To Kill a Mockingbird." Just maybe steer clear of the ones that teach you how to disappear or grow weed. Oh, in case you're wondering, a Game of Thrones book is banned too.

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