Rockford Laundromat Karen Called Me “Perv” While Folding Laundry

"How dare you?!" is a phrase we toss around our home jokingly. When I said this 24 hours before writing this article it was not in a joking manner. To put it lightly, I was irate.

I got to the same laundromat just about every week. It's a great place because it's well-lit, clean, and a very nice facility. When the world is normal, there's a slots room with adult beverages for sale while you gamble when waiting for your laundry to finish. It really is a great place and, despite this unfortunate incident, I will continue doing my laundry there as needed. I should mention that I'm actually OK with doing laundry. I don't hate it because most times I can get work done there while waiting, thanks to their wifi. So it's not like I'm there in a bad mood.

At this point, I have been at the laundromat for about an hour and I'm folding what seems to be an endless mountain of clothes. Apparently, my two children and I go through a lot of clothes when I skip the laundromat for a week. (Which is something I rarely do.) So I'm folding away. If you don't know me personally, I'm a little obsessed with how the clothes need to be folded. I'm just folding, and folding, and folding, and I notice out of my peripheral this lady looking in my direction. Maybe she was enamored by my baby blue eyes sitting slightly above black bags because I was out late the previous night? Maybe she was impressed with my folding skills? It had nothing to do with my eyes and everything to do with folding. She wasn't impressed with my folding though, she was repulsed, I would come to learn.

This woman had been watching me fold various laundry items for who knows how long. She would eventually approve with a very Karen-esque, "Excuse me, sir." I tossed a very polite, "Hi, what can I do for you?" and she said (and I quote) "you could stop folding those little girl clothes." At this point, my brain is struggling to compute what she said. Maybe I heard her wrong? Did she say I dropped little girls' clothes? "Pardon?", I responded. She takes another step in closer like she's going in for a masked kiss, nose uncovered, by the way. She says in a louder more stern voice, "I said you could stop folding those little girls clothes because it's making us all really uncomfortable." I immediately look around and make eye-contact with the couple across from me, both of which looked at each other and shrugged their shoulders.

Again, I'm a little confused. I explain to this woman that I'm folding mine and my kids' laundry. She scoffed at me. (I'm not making any of this up. This is my most recent encounter with a Karen in a few months.) She continues, "there should be a woman folding these little girl undies, not a man." At this point, I literally laugh out loud because if I react the way I want to it won't be nice. I also wanted to pull a "2020" and get my phone out and start getting video but I shouldn't because I'm in media and that could open a big can of worms." Also, why give these people added attention on social media?

So I laughed, right? She says, "if you want to look like a perv and keep folding little girl underwear that's on you, but it's disgusting. You're a pervert." Then she warns a nearby person with a child that they need to watch their kids and their kids clothes because I might try to take them before I'm a perv." At this point, steam had to be screaming out of my ears and fire was coming from my eyes. At that moment I just stared at her in disbelief. I was absolutely disgusted. To be honest, I felt sick and I just wanted to leave. I stared at her for what felt like an eternity before she scoffed one more time and walked away.

By now we know Karens and Kevins are not going anywhere, but instead of snapping their pics or sharing their explosive behavior on social media, just laugh or stare until they either run out of words or get super uncomfortable.

JB Love is ½ of  Q98.5's Lil Zim & JB In The Morning, weekday mornings from 5:00 a.m. to 10 a.m. Follow him on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook.