Wisconsin Convenience Stores Launches “Kwik” Gentleman’s Club

UPDATE: This is, in fact, not real. The source is a satirical website. Well played, Wisconsin, well played.

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Illinoisians venture into Wisconsin for three primary reasons, for cheese, for fireworks, and for Spotted Cow. In a few weeks, there will be a new reason for some while others (like me) will respectfully pass on the experience. Get ready for convenience gentlemen's club. Even better, the company behind this innovation is Kwik Trip. Yes, someone at Kwik Trip thought, "You know what might work? A quick version of a gentlemen's club. Let's call it 'Kwik Strip.'"

This is 100% real. It's 100% happening. Kwik Strip's head of sales and marketing (Charles Winscomb) told The La Crosse Times this will generate more revenue and put a fresh spin on "outdated" gentlemen's clubs.

We think there is an untapped market for folks who want to be able to gas up their cars, pick up a few essentials, grab that greeting card they forgot, and then get a quick lap dance from one of our coworkers, perhaps while enjoying a roller dog or nachos.

Winscomb said the business's name creates a grey area of what a man might actually be doing.

... like ‘Hey honey, I’m just gonna head to Kwik Strip, be right back.’ Did I say Kwik Trip? Strip?

Kwik Strip is planning on incorporating Kwik Trip familiarities into its plans. Like reimaging the grab-and-go warm food section, "The Hot Spot" into a place for private lap dances given by an "entertainer" named after Kwik Trip's coffee brand. All-in-all this gives Wisconsin men the chance to sneak out without being questioned... this is Kwik Strip's idea, not mine.

Sneaking off to some questionable roadside club in the middle of nowhere at 1:30 A.M. on a Saturday night when your wife’s already in bed thinking you’re catching up on SNL is now a thing of the past. Not that I would know anything about that per se.

Have fun with that.

[H/T The La Crosse Times]

JB Love is ½ of  Q98.5's Lil Zim & JB In The Morning, weekday mornings from 5:00 a.m. to 10 a.m. Follow him on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook.