This isn't to say we should just surrender to these aggravating, heck no. This is about being prepared to remove them when they show up.

You Can't Do Battle Without Being Prepared for Battle

There are some absolute certainties about summers in Illinois.

Summer in Illinois are:

  • Stupid hot with no kind up ramping up to it, fine one day then on fire the next.
  • The kind of humid that makes you feel like your internal organs are in a slow cooker
  • The favored time of year for hissing, buzzing, biting, and stinging creatures everywhere.

Listen up Sweaty Betty, Midwestern summers aren't for the weak, so let's get our yards, our homes, and anywhere we like to be, fully prepared for the infestation. These pests are the most common ones you'll see all summer long.

NOTE: Not all of summer's most annoying pests are non-human.

Here Are The 9 Most Annoying Pests You'll Find in Illinois This Summer


1. House Flies 

Do you know what they do every time they land on your food? If you didn't know before now, you may need to take a break before you see the other 8 pests.

Once a fly lands on your lunch since they don't have any teeth they vomit some digestive juices to turn your food into a liquid they can eat, like soup.

I promise not to be so graphic from here on out. That's not true, I can only promise that from here until we get to number 9.


2. Cicadas

Hey cicadas, with all due respect, could you please shut the $@#% up!?

Ants crawling inside of home on the floor

3. Ants

Ants don't really register on my radar screen until I see them inside, then it's a race to beat them back before they build a colony inside. Just be sure to put away all food and clean up well after all food prepping and cooking.


4. Stinging Pests

We're talking wasps, bees, hornets, and yellow jackets. Don't get into this battle without all the right stuff. Only a fool stands on the ground trying to shoot that spray all the way up your home's eaves. I can tell you from past experience that they never shoot as far as the outside of the can says, and it runs out way too fast. You shouldn't fire your first shot with anything less than 3 cans of spray by your side. It wouldn't hurt to also be wearing running shoes.

Desert locust (Schistocerca gregaria) eating green grass.

5. Crickets and Grasshoppers

These I don't mind too much, they're fun to try and catch with your kids. The crickets could pipe it down a bit, like the cicadas, though.

Scary looking bug with lots of legs

6. Centipedes and Millipedes

What fascinates me most about these pests with all those legs is how they never seem to misstep, like not ever. I have only two feet and I trip over one of them all the time.

A Black Widow Spider spinning a web in an oak tree.

7. Spiders

They make a lot of webs outside the house at night and then eat a lot of bugs, which I appreciate unless they're black widow spiders. They can be dangerous, so that's when you call a pro, like Crist Termite & Pest Solutionsand have them take care of the problem.

I'm also not great with spiders in my bedroom, thoughts of them crawling in my mouth while I'm sleeping keeps me awake.


8. Mosquitos

This is the MOST UNAVOIDABLE pest in the entire state. This is the battle where you bring every weapon you can find.

And here we are, #9.


9. Musty Humans

It gets incredibly hot and humid in Illinois during the summer so it can be a challenge to walk around at times smelling pretty ripe, but you won't if you remember one simple hygiene rule:

Cologne and deodorant are for AFTER bathing, not INSTEAD of.

25 Hilariously Bad Reviews of Illinois' Most Overhyped Attraction

More From Rockford's New Country Q98.5