I Ate Burger King’s ‘SpongeBob SquarePants’ Menu

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?

For today at least, it’s me.

(I really hope my skin doesn’t turn absorbent and yellow and porous.)

That’s because today I am at Burger King, eating every item on their surprisingly expansive menu tied to the new film The SpongeBob Movie: Search For SquarePants. If I wind up needing squarepants after I eat all this fast food, I’m filing a class-action lawsuit.

Barely a year after Wendy’s released their version of SpongeBob’s famous Krabby Patty cheeseburger, BK is offering their own “Krabby Whopper,” along with a special side dish, a special drink, a special dessert, and a special SpongeBob Burger King crown. Will they also come with a special cardiac infarction for yours truly? Let’s find out together!

(Note: There’s also a SpongeBob Movie King Jr. meal in a pineapple-shaped box with a SpongeBob toy but I’m not getting that because even a man as pathetic as me has to eventually draw the line somewhere.)

As someone who covers the world of movie-inspired food, I must note with some admiration (and a small amount of self-loathing) that Burger King has quickly become an industry leader in this space. A few years ago I rarely ate anything at BK. In the recent past, I’ve dined on Viking food for How to Train Your Dragon (i.e. a Whopper with a orange bun), spooky vittles for The Addams Family (i.e. a Whopper with a purple bun), and eaten the multiverse for Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse (i.e. a Whopper with a red bun). Today, a Whopper with a yellow bun (a square yellow bun!) is on the menu. If nautical nonsense be something you wish, you have come to the right place.

Am I excited about this any of this? No. Am I doing it anyway, over my physician’s advice and my wife’s disgust? Absolutely. Somehow, this is my job. Let’s dive in.