Illinois Zoo Helps Get Revenge on Your Ex in the Most Hilarious Way Possible
It's that time of year again when couples everywhere are showering each other with love, flowers, and chocolates. But what about those of us who are celebrating the day alone? Brookfield Zoo has got you covered. Introducing their latest addition to the Valentine's Day celebration: Name a Roach!
This Is No Longer *New* Idea
The San Antonio Zoo is offering a similar program to Brookfield Zoo where individuals can name a cockroach or rodent after their ex or someone special for Valentine's Day. For a small donation, participants receive a certificate of naming and their chosen name will be displayed at the zoo. But wait, there's more.
The cockroach, rodent, or veggie will be filmed being eaten by an animal in the zoo and you can watch it for your own sick enjoyment or forward the vid to the ex you named the roach after. Seems cruel, inhumane, and slightly twisted- but so is love sometimes.
At Brookfield Zoo, you can name a Madagascar Hissing Cockroach after that special someone who has left you with a bad taste in your mouth (or maybe just a cockroach in your ear), for just $15. You'll receive a certificate of naming and your roach's name will be displayed on the Cockroach Naming Board, posted outside the Hamill Family Play Zoo.
Imagine the look on your ex's face when they find out their name has been immortalized... as a roach. It's the ultimate way to say "you may have broken my heart, but at least I have a roach with your name on it."
See More: Did You Know A Popular Illinois Zoo Might Have 12,000 Bodies Buried Beneath It?
Bugging the Internet
This year, the Zoo will only be publishing the first name of the person you list, so you can keep the personal message for yourself (or your therapist). And don't worry about missing out on the fun, the board will be unveiled on February 14th, and the Zoo will be sure to post pics on social media so you can find your roach's name.
So why not spread the love this Valentine's Day, and give a roach a good name? After all, who wouldn't want to be remembered forever... as a disgusting, revolting bug? You can reserve your bug here.
*Note: No actual roaches were harmed in the making of this article, but some puns may have been squished.