7 Skills For Surviving Life In Illinois
Illinois can be a tricky state to live in for numerous reasons. The Land of Lincoln is no walk in the park, even though there are thousands. Weather forecast critiquing, driving, and brain power are just a few of the skills needed to survive in Illinois.
Political Signs, Political Signs Everywhere
First and foremost, counting the number of political signs at an intersection during campaign season is crucial. Not only does it keep your mind occupied during the never-ending traffic jams, but it also serves as a reminder of the endless cycle of politicians making empty promises.
Always having ranch on hand is a must. You never know when you'll find yourself at a restaurant that doesn't offer it, or worse, runs out. This is a life or death situation, and without ranch, you might as well just go home.
Another survival tip is being able to drive directly down the middle of the road during a snowstorm. This skill is a must and sets Illinoisans apart from the rest. It adds an extra level of challenge for other drivers and is a surefire way to show off your superior driving abilities.
"You should be fired!"
Having a knack for degrading local meteorologists when they get the weather wrong is another must-have skill. After all, they're the ones who are supposed to know what the weather's going to be like, and when they're wrong, it's their fault, not yours.
"Lights? Why? I Can See"
Here's another useful skill many Illinoisans have mastered, forgetting to use your headlights when it's raining. This is a subtle art that requires practice and patience. It's a great way to show off your driving skills and test the patience of other drivers.
Beating The Crowd
Planning your trip to an orchard at the busiest time on the busiest day of the year is a true test of your ability to navigate crowds and battle for the best apples. It's a true Illinois rite of passage.
Finally, tossing every driving skill out the window and starting anew every time the season change is a skill that takes true dedication. It's a constant reminder that nothing in life is certain and that the only thing you can count on is change.
There you have it. With these seven skills, you'll be able to navigate the wilds of Illinois with ease. Happy surviving!