Illinois Woman’s Brie-lliant Fortune-Telling Will Amaze You

If tyromancy sounds cheesy, that’s because it is.

In a world of crystal balls, tarot cards, and tea leaves, a local Chicagoan has decided to turn her attention to a more savory form of divination.

Tyromancy:a form of divination involving observation of cheese, especially as it coagulates. - Free Dictionary

Her name is Jennifer Billock (so close to "Jenny from the block"), and she's a self-proclaimed "kitchen witch" who believes that every cheese wheel has a tale to tell and that a chunk of cheddar might just hold the key to your destiny.

Grilled Gouda Guidance: Meet Jennifer Billock, the Cheese Whisperer

Jennifer Billock, hereby now referred to as Jenny B, is a 40-year-old Andersonville, IL resident and freelance journalist, who has taken the age-old practice of tyromancy (fortune-telling through cheese) and given it a modern twist.

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She's not just your ordinary cheese connoisseur; she's the cheese whisperer, divining secrets from curds and whey.

There’s more to cheese than meets the eye. Every piece of cheese tells a story.” - Jenny B via Block Club Chicago

Armed with her cheese-cutting prowess and a wicked sense of humor, she's offering workshops and sessions that promise a future forecast, with a side of brie.

The Cheesy Language of Destiny

In her workshops, she teaches guests how to read a cheese's patterns, size, and shape, which are said to be clues to a person’s potential destiny.

Molded Mysteries

To skeptics, the idea of deciphering life's mysteries through cheese might sound more implausible than finding a lactose-intolerant mouse. However, Billock insists that this cheesy craft boasts a lineage as rich as the creamiest brie.

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How exactly does one commune with the cosmos using cheese?

At Billock's workshops, attendees are handed slices of cheese, pens, and worksheets and are instructed to analyze the cheese's patterns and peculiarities.

They write down whatever they think is interpretive, like cracks and crumbles, and then share what it could mean in their personal lives.

Melted Motifs: The Sweet and Sharp Sides of Destiny

Large holes in the cheese might mean a big life change is ahead, while tiny ones hint at subtler changes.

Don't try this with a slice of American cheese either. Jenny B says the moldier, the merrier, as mold can hold the secrets to your fate.

Brie-lliant Idea?

Maybe. Billock offers spiritual counseling and personalized spells for between $100-200 on a per-session or per-spell basis, that's some good dough.

For a smaller slice of readings, it's $45 for a one-on-one session or groups can pay $30 per person.

[h/t Block Club Chicago]