The Midwestern Goodbye is an art but you might be able to save literal time in your life if you skipped it.

Picture it: it's that time of the night. The party is winding down. The host/hostess is lowkey ready for all of you to leave so he/she can clean up and go to bed. It's time for the Midwestern Goodbye, so you smack your hands on your knees as you stand up from the couch or chair and declare "Welp, we probably ought to be going".

There are about 12 more steps you'll have to go through before you actually leave the party in what's known as the Midwestern Goodbye. My Southern hometown does goodbyes the same lengthy way too.


After a while, you probably just want to and may even try to strategize and Irish Exit, and just peace out without saying anything to anyone. And it turns out that may be the smart thing to do.

Adding Time To Your Life

According to Double Bay Today, researchers from UNSW’s Time Management Institute interviewed 2000 Australians, finding that they go to 25 parties per year on average. The study found that the partygoers have to repeat the same excuses for leaving parties and risk being talked into staying longer by the host/hostess.

It takes about 45 minutes to say goodbye, according to lead researcher Dean Hoddle. If we go to that many parties, it's an average of 18 hours and 45 minutes each year saying goodbye at parties. But survey respondents said that they spend up to double that amount saying goodbye each year.

So while it's not in our blood to totally scrap the Midwestern Goodbye, we could at least sneak in a few more Irish Exits.

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