Ever since the news broke on Saturday about the murders of 14-year-old Christopher Ruckman and 12-year-old John "Jack" Ruckman by their own father who then killed himself, I have been overcome with sadness and extreme anger.

My heart breaks every time I think of these young men whose lives were cut short by one of the people who is supposed to love them more than anything else in the world. My heart bleeds for their mother who has to find the will to get out of bed everyday after losing her two babies to such a disgusting act of what I can only see as vengeance. I don't think I could do it if I were in her shoes.

There is one more thing I can't do, and that is say their father's name. Many people in this community have spoken up about what a great professor, man and father he was, and how shocked they were to find out he was capable of committing such an act, and although I respect their feelings and opinions, I just don't care. Obviously, secretly, he was a very troubled man, but he will never get sympathy from me. I don't care what was going through his head at the time, to me, he is evil and I will never understand what he did.

Since the boys' tragic deaths we have heard tons of people say how amazing and talented these two young men were. Several people in Rockford's music scene have spoken up about having the pleasure of playing with Christopher Ruckman, including Harlan Jefferson who had taken Christopher "under his wing".

Jefferson recently told The Rock River Times;

Jack and Christopher were both amazing kids,” Jefferson said. “Jack always enjoyed watching the show and Christopher always enjoyed performing with me. He loved the blues and Jimi Hendrix. He was my student but, in reality, he was my little buddy.”

Jefferson also told The Rock River Times that his relationship with the Ruckman family began at the request of Christopher and Jack's father. In fact, Jefferson told The Times the last words the boy's father said to him about week prior to his death was;

“The last thing he told me is that he loved me and ‘Thanks for working with Chris

I will never understand how such a bright star could be extinguished so early; but maybe it's better that we don't. It also breaks my heart that every time I watch a video of this talented kid I will no longer just see the talent, I will see the loss of a great kid with a ridiculous amount of talent.

Catch Lil Zim on ‘Q98.5 Mornings with Lil Zim & JB’ on Q98.5 from 5:00 a.m. to 10 a.m. Follow her on TwitterInstagram, and Facebook