7 Scenarios That Can Only Happen In Rockford
Crimes and robberies may be on the rise in Rockford and nationwide, but here are seven scenarios that could only happen in the screw city.
- 1
A Symbol Situation
Only in Rockford could you be tied to "Symbol" and beaten with a bunch of little soft sock monkeys.
- 2
Beef-A-Roo Cheese Attack
Rockford's favorite cheddar fries could be used against you. Someone could legitimately threaten you with scolding hot cheddar cheese... and what a waste that would be.
- 3
Forcible Downtown Alley Walk
OK, technically this could happen anywhere, but stay with me. imagine being forced to walk through a downtown alley in Rockford with bare feet. That might not seem so bad until you step on glass from broken beer & liquor bottles and busted out car windows.
- 4
IceHogs Hostage
Isn't stead of being locked in a basement you're locked in the Rockford IceHog's gear/equipment room after a game - and there's no ventilation. Sounds nasty doesn't it?
- 5
Extreme Organization
If you didn't already know, Rick Nielsen has a few collectibles. The Hall-of-Famer has enough to few a museum and then some. (Check this out.)
Rockford is the only city that could make a person's community service the job of alphabetizing, categorizing, and organizing all of Rick's picks. Sure, it sounds like fun - until realize he really has a ton of stuff.
- 6
Survivor: Rockford
Let's say there is a local edition of "Survivor" but instead of being stranded on a remote desert island you're stuck somewhere in Rockford.
Places like Rock Cut State Park or Atwood Park would be fun locations be stranded it, so you go ahead and sign up to because you can last in any remote Rockford location.
You've been selected as a contestant and, unbeknownst to you, you will be fighting to survive at the Winnebago Landfill.
- 7
Be Mr. Fix-It
Back to community service - how good are you at fixing things and climbing?
Suddenly the city has changed the fine for speeding on Perryville Road from a monetary fine to a physical fine.
Getting caught speeding now results in having to fix the Clocktower clock by hand every time it breaks in a six month time frame.
Also, you have to free-climb up and down the clock.